Lifes Ups and Downs

It's been a few days since I have updated.  Unfortunately, life has become a little crazy.  The in-laws will be here in a few days, I have multitudes of papers/projects/tests coming up within the next few weeks.  But here is the short of it

The Court Case:

I read the following letter to the court:

When I look back on my wedding day, it is difficult for me to remember tha tit should have been one of hte best days of my life.  I have over a thousand photos sitting in a box because every time I look at them  I am overwhelmed with anger, embarrassment and tears.  The night of my wedding, instead of comsummating our marriage, my husband and I sat with state troopers. 
My husband and I placed blame on our friends and family, we pointed our fingers at those that we love.  These were the same people who didn't have much to give us, but gave what they could.  The same peole who work extremely hard for their money and wanted to see AJ and I have a good start to our marriage.  Can you imagine our embarrassment asking our friends and family what they gave as a wedding gift?  Do you know how humiliating that is?  It wasn't only money that was taken from us.  You took our humility and trust.  You took our ability to be able to buy a crib for our baby girl because we no longer had the additional money we were counting on.  We had a rough estimate of how much we could ptentially receive, and we had a budget set up.  I had placed a small amount of our wedding on credit cards knowing I would be able to pay it off as soon as we put the money in bank.  Instead, I paid 19.99-23% interest on these purchases.  Salt was poured even more on the wound when hte venue continually gave the run around to the situation.  We lived in a constant reminder of what you did.  What you did to a little family that was just starting out.  A family that was about to have a baby but not the additional cusion to make them feel secure.
There are not enough words to express the pain, hatred, anger, and embarrassment that my husband and I hold.  We will never be given back our wedding day.  Our day will never be a completely happy day to us.  There is an ugly cloud of emotions that lingers over one of the most important days of our lives.

I was a wreck reading it.  I shook and choked back tears.  When she'd walked into the court room she had a huge smile on her face, and all I wanted to do was pummel her.  I hope that when she heard my statement that she at least felt a small amount of the pain she had put us through. 

She was convicted to 1-2 years for each of the two robberies she was charged with at this point.  A minimum of 18 months.  It is what it is.  She was also ordered to pay restitution and court fees.  All in all, justice was served.  It will be years before I see any of our money, but we plan on putting it aside to save.  When we finally get it all back we'll have a nice chunk of money to decide what to do with.  I hope this time, this girl stays away from the drugs and turns her life around.

Life's Ups and Downs:
School is insane right now.  It is the end of the semester and all my professors are pushing papers, tests, and projects on us.  We had numerous snow days and now we're playing catch up.  I hate the end of the semester.  It happens every time.  And every time, I feel like I'm about to lose my mind.  After I finish this entry, I have to write a 20 page psychological report and some how figure out how to condense it into only 8 pages.  That's not even an exaggeration!

AJ and I are still fighting.  We are so in love with each other.  I'm fully aware that if Ri had been planned things would be different.  But, we have a beautiful gift and life must go on.  He's working upwards of 70 hours a week so any chance we have to work on our relationship is out the window.  The in-laws will be here on Friday until Sunday, but he's working the entire time so I doubt we'll get a chance to get away and talk through things.
We're both trying.  It's not like things are just sour.  We have so much going on in our lives that we haven't had a moment to just breathe.  We fight over trivial things (cleaning, laundry, who's turn it is to change the diaper).  We know it's all out of frustration and we both are fully aware that we will make it through this.  A new marriage is difficult enough, let alone to add a new baby on top of it.  We just need to find a way to take a break and work on us.


Ri?  She's doing great!  Getting big.  She learns something new everyday and it's the most amazing feeling in the world.  I love seeing her learn so much.  She plays with her toys now.  Grabs at them and shakes them.  She rolls over from belly to back with ease and has been working on her back to belly.  The best thing though, is when she talks.  I love to hear her talk to me.  I love being a Mommy!

Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.